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Why you can't be humble like your mom?Īt the gate, St Peter tells Henry Ford: "Well, you've been such a good guy, invented the car, changed the world. You wanna man that drives a Lexus, but your dad drives a Ford. I would give both my testies for a Ford Mustang. Here is a car, you have not been looking for, that leaks oil and a whole lot more, I hope you haven't driven a ford lately. Today 99% of Fords are on the road the other 1% made it to the car shop. So you're in high school and you drive a Ford Mustang? You must know all about hard work then. But a Ford Focus? I feel obligated to deflate your tires now. If your Bentley is taking up 2 parking spaces, then okay. Why do people name their kids Mercedes, Lexus, Porsche when they look like buicks & fords "I'd rather push a BMW then drive a Ford." "I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford." "You might own a FORD if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport." Yo mama so dumb she bought a Ford from the dealership and sat in it for two days because it said Focus
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One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.Īccording to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.įord, Ford, best in town, drive it once, your engines downĪ blonde once asked me "If they are called Mustangs then why can't you saddle then up and say Giddy-up". What's the difference between a Ford owner and a carp? What should you do if you find three Ford owners buried up to their neck in cement? Q: Why does Ford make tractors and Opel not?Ī: Because Opel can't get anything to run that slow. Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?Ī: So FORD owners have a safe place to walk home. Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?Ī: Max speed - 60 km/h - Fords do best you can. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley?Ī: A shopping trolley is much easier to push. Q: What's the difference between a golfball and a Ford? Q: How do you make a Ford go faster downhill?
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Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Fords?Ī: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts. Q: What did the Toyota say to the Ford on the side of the road? Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a tampon?Ī: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope. Q: What is the aim of a Ford concept car? Q: Why are the latest Fords so aerodynamically designed?Ī: It improves the Chevy tow truck's fuel consumption. Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Q: Do you know why ford is making new heated tailgates?Ī: So when your pushing it home in the winter your hands stay warm. Q: Why are FORD dealers giving away a dog with each FORD sold?Ī: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.Ī: To push he's FORD F150 back into the dealer's show room. Q: Why do the new FORD Explorers have larger bumpers? Q: Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Ford trucks?Ī: To keep your hands warm when you pushed them. Q: What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? Q: What do you call a Ford with 200,000 miles on it? Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Ford Focus? Q: What should the Ford Mustang really be called? Q: How do you double the value of a Ford Focus? Q: What do you call a Ford with a seat belt? Q: What is the Ford owner's most ardent wish? Q: What do you call a Ford with dual exhausts? Q: What do you call two Fords at the top of a hill? Q: What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? Q: What do you call a Ford at the top of a Hill? Q: Why does the new Ford Escape parallel park itself?Ī: Because white trash can only trailer park!Ī: Because it gives Ford owners something to do while they walk home.
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Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Ford's user's manual? Q: What's the difference between a Ford and the principal's office?Ī: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office. Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a porcupine?Ī: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.